Like a
lot of young, undersexed, adult male slackers I suppose, I was a naïve, nineteen
year old virgin when I accidentally landed an ordinary, ho-hum serving job at a then
an unknown steak and buffet restaurant called Sirloin Stockade back in the early
nineties. The aspiring beige and teal looking restaurant I was to work at, located
in a far western suburb of Chicago, was in the middle of a messy and lengthy
remodeling job when I was initially hired so unfortunately for me and my anorexic
wallet, I couldn’t start working for them right away-though as luck would have it,
the construction company remodeling the restaurant was looking for an immediate
general laborer. The construction company which was in dire and desperate need of
some cheap and temporary help, which I was overwhelmingly both, was run by a couple
of sandy haired, hard working, and oxen-like brothers who wasted very little time in
giving me the job despite my overall lack of experience. My willingness to put in
long hours and work for six dollars an hour proved to be the only qualifications I
needed. Looking back on it, I’m surprised I didn’t quit within the first day or two
of working considering my extreme dislike for physical laboring though somehow and
quite miraculously, I managed to endure and even enjoy the job by the time it was
drawing to a close. The hard and physically demanding work I was “cruelly” forced
to endure on an hourly basis had surprisingly put a new found swagger in my step,
callous on my hands, and a thin layer of newly defined muscle on my previously
gelatin-like body. I was actually starting to feel like an honest to goodness, real
life man for the first time in my metro-sexual life. The kind of Clint Eastwood,
macho-like, blue collar man who would ruggedly chew tobacco, spit, and talk
boisterously about sports every chance he got. I had also hoped, though not
expecting miracles, the newer, tanner, stronger, and more masculine version of me
would stand a better chance with the ladies. Maybe macho Paul could do something
sissy boy Paul couldn’t, like going out on an actual date!
lot of young, undersexed, adult male slackers I suppose, I was a naïve, nineteen
year old virgin when I accidentally landed an ordinary, ho-hum serving job at a then
an unknown steak and buffet restaurant called Sirloin Stockade back in the early
nineties. The aspiring beige and teal looking restaurant I was to work at, located
in a far western suburb of Chicago, was in the middle of a messy and lengthy
remodeling job when I was initially hired so unfortunately for me and my anorexic
wallet, I couldn’t start working for them right away-though as luck would have it,
the construction company remodeling the restaurant was looking for an immediate
general laborer. The construction company which was in dire and desperate need of
some cheap and temporary help, which I was overwhelmingly both, was run by a couple
of sandy haired, hard working, and oxen-like brothers who wasted very little time in
giving me the job despite my overall lack of experience. My willingness to put in
long hours and work for six dollars an hour proved to be the only qualifications I
needed. Looking back on it, I’m surprised I didn’t quit within the first day or two
of working considering my extreme dislike for physical laboring though somehow and
quite miraculously, I managed to endure and even enjoy the job by the time it was
drawing to a close. The hard and physically demanding work I was “cruelly” forced
to endure on an hourly basis had surprisingly put a new found swagger in my step,
callous on my hands, and a thin layer of newly defined muscle on my previously
gelatin-like body. I was actually starting to feel like an honest to goodness, real
life man for the first time in my metro-sexual life. The kind of Clint Eastwood,
macho-like, blue collar man who would ruggedly chew tobacco, spit, and talk
boisterously about sports every chance he got. I had also hoped, though not
expecting miracles, the newer, tanner, stronger, and more masculine version of me
would stand a better chance with the ladies. Maybe macho Paul could do something
sissy boy Paul couldn’t, like going out on an actual date!
Fantasies aside and soon after my brief but no less
exhilarating delusions of self grandeur, (right around the time the construction
company was wrapping up its work on the nearly completed building) the restaurant’s
training staff of mostly attractive, twenty something year old women had arrived,
unbeknownst to me at the time. It was during this bumbling and chaotic transition
period I first gazed upon a woman who would unknowingly enchant and haunt my mind
for over fifteen years and counting. The first time I saw her, innocently enough,
she had her back towards me and was vigorously cleaning a table top before
momentarily pausing to wipe the glistening sweat off her beautiful right brow. The
instant she slowly turned around and unknowingly faced me, while wiping the back of
her right hand against her loose fitting (but oh so sexy looking) khaki pants, I
immediately looked the other away in embarrassment so she wouldn’t notice I was
staring at her. Though in all truthfulness and even as I pretended not to be
looking at her, I couldn’t stop gawking at her out of the corner of my left eye.
exhilarating delusions of self grandeur, (right around the time the construction
company was wrapping up its work on the nearly completed building) the restaurant’s
training staff of mostly attractive, twenty something year old women had arrived,
unbeknownst to me at the time. It was during this bumbling and chaotic transition
period I first gazed upon a woman who would unknowingly enchant and haunt my mind
for over fifteen years and counting. The first time I saw her, innocently enough,
she had her back towards me and was vigorously cleaning a table top before
momentarily pausing to wipe the glistening sweat off her beautiful right brow. The
instant she slowly turned around and unknowingly faced me, while wiping the back of
her right hand against her loose fitting (but oh so sexy looking) khaki pants, I
immediately looked the other away in embarrassment so she wouldn’t notice I was
staring at her. Though in all truthfulness and even as I pretended not to be
looking at her, I couldn’t stop gawking at her out of the corner of my left eye.
She was a petite woman, from what I could initially see and
make of her, who stood about all of five feet three inches tall and probably weighed
somewhere in the neighborhood of one hundred and one hundred and ten pounds. She
had the most innocent, beautiful, and angelic looking face I’d ever seen in a woman
not to mention a high forehead, a cute as can be nose, a heart stopping smile as
radiant as it was infectious, flawless and perfectly tanned skin, long thick dark
brown hair, soul inspiring eyes, a mouthwatering figure, and the rare ability to
look both sexy and cute at the very same time. She looked like the all American
girl and the girl next door every guy dreamed of. She was hands down and by far,
the most beautiful woman I had ever laid eyes on.
make of her, who stood about all of five feet three inches tall and probably weighed
somewhere in the neighborhood of one hundred and one hundred and ten pounds. She
had the most innocent, beautiful, and angelic looking face I’d ever seen in a woman
not to mention a high forehead, a cute as can be nose, a heart stopping smile as
radiant as it was infectious, flawless and perfectly tanned skin, long thick dark
brown hair, soul inspiring eyes, a mouthwatering figure, and the rare ability to
look both sexy and cute at the very same time. She looked like the all American
girl and the girl next door every guy dreamed of. She was hands down and by far,
the most beautiful woman I had ever laid eyes on.
Being a waiter and serving the general public wasn’t
something I particularly wanted to do, nor was very fond of, but the idea of
pocketing cold, hard cash on a daily basis was just a little too enticing for me to
have passed up, especially since I was almost financially and morally bankrupt at
the time. It certainly seemed like a better and more lucrative option than getting
paid every two weeks or monthly as I had been accustomed to at my other dead end
jobs. Plus, the fringe benefits of working at this particular restaurant were like
nothing I'd ever seen before and therefore, almost impossible to have simply walked
away from.
something I particularly wanted to do, nor was very fond of, but the idea of
pocketing cold, hard cash on a daily basis was just a little too enticing for me to
have passed up, especially since I was almost financially and morally bankrupt at
the time. It certainly seemed like a better and more lucrative option than getting
paid every two weeks or monthly as I had been accustomed to at my other dead end
jobs. Plus, the fringe benefits of working at this particular restaurant were like
nothing I'd ever seen before and therefore, almost impossible to have simply walked
away from.
Would you believe me if I said my decision to stick it out
and give it a try wasn’t influenced in the least by the stunning, pixie-like
brunette I saw earlier in the restaurant? I didn’t think so and you’re absolutely
right, it had everything to do with why I wanted to stay and work there.
and give it a try wasn’t influenced in the least by the stunning, pixie-like
brunette I saw earlier in the restaurant? I didn’t think so and you’re absolutely
right, it had everything to do with why I wanted to stay and work there.
But first things first and before the various owners and
managers of the steak and buffet restaurant would even dare open up their new
establishment to the ever critical taste buds and opinions of the finicky general
public, the entire disinterested serving staff had to attend a mandatory meeting
held by two of the company’s current and highly esteemed waitresses. Turned out the
petite brunette I’d been drooling over was one of the trainers and the only thing I
remembered about the meeting was learning her name was Diana. Other than that
little tidbit of information, I hadn’t the faintest idea or notion as to what she
said or even did during the entire duration of our meeting as not only was she drop
dead gorgeous, but she also had a very soft and feminine sounding voice that
completely and utterly mesmerized me whenever she spoke. I felt an overwhelming
sense of calm and peace whenever I heard her voice, like somehow everything was
going to be all right.
managers of the steak and buffet restaurant would even dare open up their new
establishment to the ever critical taste buds and opinions of the finicky general
public, the entire disinterested serving staff had to attend a mandatory meeting
held by two of the company’s current and highly esteemed waitresses. Turned out the
petite brunette I’d been drooling over was one of the trainers and the only thing I
remembered about the meeting was learning her name was Diana. Other than that
little tidbit of information, I hadn’t the faintest idea or notion as to what she
said or even did during the entire duration of our meeting as not only was she drop
dead gorgeous, but she also had a very soft and feminine sounding voice that
completely and utterly mesmerized me whenever she spoke. I felt an overwhelming
sense of calm and peace whenever I heard her voice, like somehow everything was
going to be all right.
Then somewhat predictably and shortly after the conclusion
of our mandatory meeting, just seconds after I floated back down to earth and came
to my dim witted senses once again, we were instructed to pair up with a fellow
waiter or waitress so we could practice and demonstrate what we had supposedly
learned during our “all important” meeting. When it was my turn to practice and
showcase some of my raw but still developing serving skills, I heard a familiar and
divine voice just behind my left shoulder say,
of our mandatory meeting, just seconds after I floated back down to earth and came
to my dim witted senses once again, we were instructed to pair up with a fellow
waiter or waitress so we could practice and demonstrate what we had supposedly
learned during our “all important” meeting. When it was my turn to practice and
showcase some of my raw but still developing serving skills, I heard a familiar and
divine voice just behind my left shoulder say,
“If you guys have any questions or if there’s anything I can help you with, just let me know.”
Wow, I thought, as the hair on my arms among other things rose to attention. My dream girl just spoke to me, almost even touched me…how cool.
On the restaurant’s highly anticipated and hectic opening
night and much to my giddy satisfaction, Diana unexpectedly but politely approached
me to correct a problem she had observed in my Neanderthal serving technique.
Apparently from what she politely told me, I had been setting my lightly moistened
and greasy server tray on the tables of customers as I distributed individual meals
to everyone, a big no-no in the restaurant world I was told though in all honesty, I
couldn’t have cared less. Thankfully, it wouldn’t be the last time Diana helped me
or came to my rescue that night as I constantly fell behind and struggled throughout
most of my work shift.
night and much to my giddy satisfaction, Diana unexpectedly but politely approached
me to correct a problem she had observed in my Neanderthal serving technique.
Apparently from what she politely told me, I had been setting my lightly moistened
and greasy server tray on the tables of customers as I distributed individual meals
to everyone, a big no-no in the restaurant world I was told though in all honesty, I
couldn’t have cared less. Thankfully, it wouldn’t be the last time Diana helped me
or came to my rescue that night as I constantly fell behind and struggled throughout
most of my work shift.
During the latter half of the restaurant’s frantic opening
night, I couldn’t help but wonder why Diana was helping me out so much especially
since there were other waiters and waitresses who needed help just as badly as I
had. Was I that pathetic I kept asking myself over and over again or was this how
she was with everyone else and I just hadn’t noticed until now? Either way, the
more and more she helped me the fonder and fonder I became of her.
night, I couldn’t help but wonder why Diana was helping me out so much especially
since there were other waiters and waitresses who needed help just as badly as I
had. Was I that pathetic I kept asking myself over and over again or was this how
she was with everyone else and I just hadn’t noticed until now? Either way, the
more and more she helped me the fonder and fonder I became of her.
During some down time in the back of the restaurant during
my first day or two of working as a waiter, I overheard a coworker say she might go
with Randy and Diana to a nightclub called Hurricanes after work. “Randy?” I
thought to myself. Randy was the manager of the restaurant. The guy was balding and
looked like he was in his middle to upper forties while Diana on the other hand,
looked like she was probably in her early twenties at the most. Was Diana sleeping
with the manager? I would’ve guessed she was dating an over-muscled, rich college
frat guy who probably drove a sports car, wore designer clothing, and talked
incessantly about how much he bench pressed. But hey, to each his or her own I
thought, maybe she preferred the attractiveness of money and power over the look of
youth and brawn, to which I only had one of the four qualities. What I am for
certain is, I would’ve gladly done or given anything back then to trade
places with my restaurant manager even it meant losing most or all of my thick black
hair, aging twenty something years, and gaining a hundred plus pounds as long it led
to a single hug or kiss from Diana.
my first day or two of working as a waiter, I overheard a coworker say she might go
with Randy and Diana to a nightclub called Hurricanes after work. “Randy?” I
thought to myself. Randy was the manager of the restaurant. The guy was balding and
looked like he was in his middle to upper forties while Diana on the other hand,
looked like she was probably in her early twenties at the most. Was Diana sleeping
with the manager? I would’ve guessed she was dating an over-muscled, rich college
frat guy who probably drove a sports car, wore designer clothing, and talked
incessantly about how much he bench pressed. But hey, to each his or her own I
thought, maybe she preferred the attractiveness of money and power over the look of
youth and brawn, to which I only had one of the four qualities. What I am for
certain is, I would’ve gladly done or given anything back then to trade
places with my restaurant manager even it meant losing most or all of my thick black
hair, aging twenty something years, and gaining a hundred plus pounds as long it led
to a single hug or kiss from Diana.
I don’t remember if it was the first or second night after
the restaurant’s grand opening but I do remember what happened just before closing
time on one of those seemingly ordinary nights. It came as a complete and total
shock to me, as I was going through my required closing duties for the night, when a
woman, who also worked for the restaurant, crouched down across from me as I
vacuumed underneath one of the tables I waited on and told me her name was Randy.
She casually mentioned how she and my serving trainer, Diana, were good friends and
after a few minutes of pleasant but politically correct small talk, she uniformly
began to debrief me about the inner workings of my personal life with a seemingly
endless barrage of intrusive and predetermined questions about myself. I couldn’t
believe it, an honest to goodness, real life woman was actually talking to me and I
thought she might have even liked me on top of it. Now ordinarily, I would have
been on cloud nine and doing back flips if something like this would have happened
to me before I met Diana, but all I could think about at the moment was how Randy
was a woman and Randy the male manager wasn’t the one Diana went out with at night.
the restaurant’s grand opening but I do remember what happened just before closing
time on one of those seemingly ordinary nights. It came as a complete and total
shock to me, as I was going through my required closing duties for the night, when a
woman, who also worked for the restaurant, crouched down across from me as I
vacuumed underneath one of the tables I waited on and told me her name was Randy.
She casually mentioned how she and my serving trainer, Diana, were good friends and
after a few minutes of pleasant but politically correct small talk, she uniformly
began to debrief me about the inner workings of my personal life with a seemingly
endless barrage of intrusive and predetermined questions about myself. I couldn’t
believe it, an honest to goodness, real life woman was actually talking to me and I
thought she might have even liked me on top of it. Now ordinarily, I would have
been on cloud nine and doing back flips if something like this would have happened
to me before I met Diana, but all I could think about at the moment was how Randy
was a woman and Randy the male manager wasn’t the one Diana went out with at night.
Even though I never held out hope Diana and I would ever
hook up, it was a relief to know she wasn’t shagging the manager. Meanwhile, Randy
seemed more interested in talking about Diana and me than anything else and as an
end result of our conversation I started daydreaming about the possibility of Diana
using Randy to scope me out. But the more and more I began to think about this
Utopian-like scenario, the more likely it was Randy probably just didn’t know what
else to talk to me about. I wasn’t exactly the most outgoing of guys or even
someone who was easy to approach. I was very shy around women and often gave the
impression of being distant and uninterested. Turned out Diana and I were both
nineteen years old and living with one of our respective grandmothers.
hook up, it was a relief to know she wasn’t shagging the manager. Meanwhile, Randy
seemed more interested in talking about Diana and me than anything else and as an
end result of our conversation I started daydreaming about the possibility of Diana
using Randy to scope me out. But the more and more I began to think about this
Utopian-like scenario, the more likely it was Randy probably just didn’t know what
else to talk to me about. I wasn’t exactly the most outgoing of guys or even
someone who was easy to approach. I was very shy around women and often gave the
impression of being distant and uninterested. Turned out Diana and I were both
nineteen years old and living with one of our respective grandmothers.
There were so many times during the first few days I worked
and mingled with Diana where I’d catch her doing something so sweet and kind I
couldn’t help but daydream being married to her. I couldn’t have created a woman
any better than her. It was if she was the design of my imagination, a dream girl
come to life. For example, the time she invited me and another shy and dorky waiter
I was hanging out with at the time, to come eat with her and another one of our
female coworkers even though neither of us considered ourselves cool or attractive
by any stretch of the imagination. As simple a gesture as it was, no woman had ever
asked me to do that before nor do I remember what we talked about or even if we
talked at all. What I do remember however, even after all these years, was the way
she sat Indian style on her bench seat nibbling on her food…she couldn’t have looked
any cuter.
and mingled with Diana where I’d catch her doing something so sweet and kind I
couldn’t help but daydream being married to her. I couldn’t have created a woman
any better than her. It was if she was the design of my imagination, a dream girl
come to life. For example, the time she invited me and another shy and dorky waiter
I was hanging out with at the time, to come eat with her and another one of our
female coworkers even though neither of us considered ourselves cool or attractive
by any stretch of the imagination. As simple a gesture as it was, no woman had ever
asked me to do that before nor do I remember what we talked about or even if we
talked at all. What I do remember however, even after all these years, was the way
she sat Indian style on her bench seat nibbling on her food…she couldn’t have looked
any cuter.